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my ring

My Ring
Monday morning, I noticed that my engagement ring was missing. What immediately followed was a panicky, frantic hunt, throwing the already messy house into even more disarray. I knew I had it the previous Tuesday, our 3rd year anniversary, because I cleaned it right before we went out to dinner. I knew I had it on Friday, when I was cutting color swatches for KenzieKate, because it was pinching my finger when I was using the scissors on the tough paper. After that, I neither remembered having it nor not having it. Where had I been? Where did I see it last? Could it have fallen off? Did someone take it? My entire Monday was spent in a daze, trying to remember what I did with it.
Then, I remembered putting it on the coffee table, while I cut swatches. I had taken it off, because it was hurting my finger. I remember putting it in a box lid, so it wouldn't fall on the floor. Then I remembered putting scraps from my paper swatches in the same box lid so I didn't make a mess. Then, as far as I can remember, I left them there. The ring in the lid, with the scraps. Once I remembered, I immediately went on the hunt for that box lid. It wasn't on the coffee table any more. We had cleaned the room on Saturday morning. One of us must have dumped the scraps into the garbage, not knowing or remembering the ring was in there. Then came the frantic search thru the trash. Not in there. Then the horrible realization that the trash had been picked up that morning. Oh God. All the trash from the week before. The trash from Saturday too. It was all at the city dump by the time I realized what had happened on Monday night.
I've lost things in the past, important things, but never something this meaningful. I had pictured giving this ring to my children as a family heirloom. My friend made this ring with her own two hands, especially for Dell and I. It was my "something blue" at my wedding. It is the single most meaningful gift I have ever gotten. And now it's gone. I feel a little silly being so upset about this. But I can't describe how much I feel I've lost.
I know that most of you have just gotten your rings, and you love them, and you can't imagine ever loosing sight of them for even a second. So I guess that makes this blog post pretty much a huge downer? I promise that tomorrow I'll write about something awesome and cheerful. Just don't hate me if there are no engagement ring posts for a while. The wound is still pretty fresh.

46 comments:

Glamour This! by Kelly on 1:40 PM

Mackenzie... i so feel your pain. 4 months ago, I took off my rings (one being my engagement ring) and when I realized that I didnt have my rings in the usual jewlery box I went nuts...I went back to where I had taken them off... one ring was still there, but as for my engagement ring, it was GONE!!!
I searched everywhere... even to the point of checking my cats litter box. But no luck.

Like you I have lost things in the past, but this... so painful. I still can get over this... and its been over 4 months now. Theres always hope of finding it somewhere in a crack... but I literally tore the house down to find it. Even tore apart the vaccumm bag. Hang in there... or if you need someone, Im there ... I completely understand.

Nanette on 1:44 PM

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! :(

Kelly on 1:59 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Darci on 2:11 PM

I am so extremely sorry, Mackenzie. You shouldn't feel silly for being upset...anyone would. Try to remember that you loved the ring because it symbolized your marriage, and that is still perfectly in tact!

Nadine on 2:11 PM

I'm so sorry.

Jane E. on 2:12 PM

My heart sank into my stomach as I read your post! I've misplaced my engagement ring before, and I still vividly remember the panic and horror I felt about losing it. Don't feel silly about being upset! Sending good luck and karma your way...

tealeaf on 2:41 PM

i'm not married or even engaged but i think i would feel the same way. i'm sorry to hear about that. it was a beautiful ring.

Ellen on 2:42 PM

Oh no! My heart sank when I read this. I'm so sorry.

Adrienne on 3:03 PM

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I completely understand the way you feel and I would feel the same way. It's totally devastating and I would be cry for a long time. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

mo on 4:55 PM

I'm so sad for you. Do not give up hope,though, you may still find it one day. But even if you don't, it was a symbol of your love, not your love...just don't lose him.

cat on 5:22 PM

i actually lost my wedding band, and it was very emotionally distressing! it was a simple, gold unadorned band (nothing like your GORGEOUS ring in the photo) and for a little bit, i felt like my hubby and i would be jinxed! on the bright side, i did end up getting a new ring that looks totally different - i had it custom made. but i do feel your pain...maybe a little prayer to st francis couldn't hurt?

Kim @ The Event Essentials on 7:00 PM

OH NO!! My stomach would be flipped upside down, much like your house! :( So sorry to read this. Maybe when you least expect it, you will find it sitting pretty looking at you!! At least you still have the man that came with the ring! Chin up!!

lynn on 9:34 PM

I am so sorry. I lost a ring that my husband gave me and I cried for way longer than I should have. Try hard to let go of whatever guilt you may feel, and hug it out with your husband- you are human.

Kelly on 9:42 PM

I can not even imagine. I have lost my ring temp several times, almost puking I was so nervous about finding it. I am so so so sorry.

talida on 12:39 AM

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :(

Helen on 4:22 AM

Oh my darling, of course you're distraught. It's absolutely beautiful and with the picture at the top I was waiting for the happy ending of slapped foreheads and relieved giggles. Sending love and hugs and small consolation for your big loss xx

Meredith on 6:17 AM

Oh dear, my worst nightmare. I am a loser of things...but that is THE thing. My heart goes out to you.

I'm not really a praying girl I have to confess, but St. Anthony (finder of lost items) has actually worked for me. I'm afraid you'd have to go to the city dump, but perhaps if you called them they can tell you where the ring will likely be. Think of all the brightly colored paper that could lead you in the right direction!

Your mantra as your dig (you can just say it over and over in your head) is "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come down. Something's lost that can't be found."

I'll be saying it with you.

JonBoy on 8:16 AM

Sorry...

Pencils on 8:58 AM

I'm so sorry, Mackenzie! That's a beautiful, beautiful ring. I realize it wouldn't be quite the same, but can your friend make another? Last week I lost one of the earrings my husband gave me to wear at the wedding. Got home from work and I was only wearing one. I looked everywhere, but I'm sure it fell out somewhere in Manhattan. The good news is that Bo JC, the makers, are creating me a match. And I have one of the originals.

Was your ring an aquamarine? My engagement ring is a vintage aquamarine in platinum, from the 1940s. I love it so much. I have a rule: either it's on my finger, or it's in my jewelry box. That's it. Your post has only strengthened my resolve never to break that rule.

Again, I'm so, so sorry. I hope it turns up, somehow.

Aimee on 9:09 AM

Oh no, I am sooo sorry! I know how it feels just to realize I forgot my e-ring on the counter when I washed my hands in the morning, and I imagine this is tenfold. *sends hugs* It really would be a good idea to call the landfill, just in case. Rent a metal detector and set it to your type of metal to look.

may on 9:41 AM

Oh I'm so sorry! This nowhere nears to your loss, so please forgive any comparison -- but last summer, my fiance (then just boyfriend) bought me a ring I fell in love with from a street vendor in Rome. It was cheap obviously, but - does that matter when you're talking rings in a foreign country with your to-be husband? Nope. I wore it every day on our trip and loved it so much. But, because it was cheap, I took it off when I washed my hands fearing it would turn color. I did this in the airport in Venice, right before returning to the states and obviously I left it on the restroom counter. I still get sad about it, and both of us still frown together when it comes up (I thankfully have a couple of pictures it made its way into). I wish with everything in me I could have that 10 Euro ring back!

jordan on 11:51 AM

I'm so so sorry. I wish I found it and could return it to you.

Anonymous on 1:41 PM

I know it's hard to imagine, but someday when you get over your grief of the loss of this, you will be able to create a whole new ring, maybe similar but with something new added and your husband will find a romantic way to gift it to you. You'll still have an amazing heirloom to pass on. I say this with the memory of playing with my wedding ring (on/off) and it fell in between the cracks of a boardwalk over the ocean. I really do love my (not so) new ring...just as much or more than the other.
give it time.

michelle on 3:05 PM

I am so sorry, and I know it seems too soon to say, but one day you will replace it and it will be a special ring, and as meaningful as the last one. I am sending you good vibes anyway though.

Allison on 3:48 PM

Oh my. I am so so sorry. What a terrible thing to have happen. My mother NEARLY lost my grandmother's antique ring down the sink. Later in her life, I will wear that ring and then pass it on to my daughter. We eventually found it. I can only imagine the pain you feel. Hope things get better soon!

staceyn on 3:56 PM

I am terribly sorry. I kept hoping to read how you recovered the ring. :( I lost my first ever diamonds from my husband (studs he gave me for Christmas) in the shower. The horror as I watched it going down the drain will stay with me forever. I was inconsolable for days. I still feel so guilty and bad. Don't put yourself down about how you feel. It's a sad loss and you are entitled to feel sad. Just hold onto your husband and feel his love. I promise it will make you feel better.

Molly on 4:04 PM

You are right to be upset. I would be beside myself. So sad that you lost it - but hopefully you can find a way to turn it into a good situation with a whole new wonderful ring and story to go with it.

e on 7:22 PM

i'm very accident prone, and i've had a couple close calls with my ring, but i can only imagine how distressing this has been for you.
so so-very-sorry...

Merrilee Diaz on 9:27 PM

I've lurked in your lovely blog for ages, but never posted but just have to say I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful ring. As I read along, I kept hoping for a happy ending. : (

Anonymous on 9:42 PM

Mackenzie, I lost this jade ring my boyfriend (now husband) gave me after we had only been togtether for a while (he had had it made for me and I adored it). I lost it however, after we had been together for 6 years (but not hyet engaged) and I cherished it. Anyway I checked the trash compactor in our building and every inch of our apartment but it didn't turn up...until about a year and a half later when I was at my fiance's cousin's house looking at some jewellery she planned to wear to my wedding. She had brought the small box of costume jewellery from her boyfriend's mom over before---the exact night I lost my ring! It had been safely sitting inside the box the whole time. I had taken it off to try on one of her costume rings. Anyway I was so happy I started crying and my point is that you never know where something will turn up. My boyfriend and I were both convinced at the time that I had thrown it in the trash. I hope your ring has the same fate as mine did.

Mackenzie on 9:46 PM

You all are so sweet, and your comments have really made me feel better. I appreciate all the stories and the well wishes, they mean so much to me. Much love to you all.

Anonymous on 2:09 AM

I know you're pain all too well. I had left my ring (a family heirloom) with my finance to be appraised for insurance purposes while I was out of town. I returned to the news that the ring had been lost. It was a very trying time. He felt horrible and embarrassed. In the end I realized I didn't need a ring at all to marry this man. We did up getting simple gold bands for our private ceremony (having church wedding next year). About a week after our private ceremony while we were preparing for a garage sale, he found the ring and other engagement jewelry his mom gave me in a cupboard where he had left them for safekeeping. I would never wish this situation on any one, but for me it enabled me to see what I truly valued -- our relationship. My hope is that you too will have a "happy ending" with or without the ring.

Joey Frost on 9:20 AM

I'm so, so sorry...I would be so very upset and sad too. My heart goes out to you!

Aimee on 10:07 AM

I think there is a good chance you could find it, especially since your papers and scraps are in the same bag. Look at this story, I just saw it on ABC the other day.
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=local&id=5697512

Anonymous on 11:12 AM

Aw, hun, I'm so sorry. I went through something similar in that my engagement ring ended up being destroyed. My fiance, being an absolute sweetie, then took it upon himself to repropose to me with an older ring he'd bought for me at the start of our relationship.
While I loved the other ring, it was just a material thing and I am lucky to have someone who loves me in my life. :)
That said, I really do hope you find it! *hugs*

Anonymous on 12:34 PM

I am so sad for you! I know how horrible the feeling of losing something meaningful is. I hope you find a way to recreate it. I know it won't be *exactly* the same, but hopefully it will still be lovely and important to you!

Melissa DiStefano on 3:06 PM

Oh my gosh! I was expecting a happy ending to your story, but alas, there isn't! I am so sorry! I actually lost my husband's wedding ring- so I feel your pain. But it just plain stinks! I am so so so so sorry!

Fina on 4:14 PM

:( I am soooo sorry. I feel your pain. Same kind of story (1994) but with potato peelings. So the hubby and I bought another set and well I lost that one (2001) kids this time. So the hubby said "That's it no more and you will have to buy your own". So I purchased a platinum band on sale for 50 bucks and well its not on my hand but somewhere at home at the moment. Moral of the story...I am terrible with jewelry. The first loss still hurts.

Carrie on 12:24 PM

Oh my gosh, hun. I just cried for you. That ring is beautiful! *BIG HUGS* sent your way. <3

My on 6:50 PM

Sorry to hear that you lost your ring....

Jade on 6:30 PM

That's horrid. I'm so sorry! I'm always taking mine off because I don't like rings at all so I had a copy of mine made. And then I left the copy behind in a Nordstrom dressing room. I figured it out two steps to the register and ran back but it was gone along with the unwanted clothes I'd left behind. And the dressing room girls all claimed not to have seen it. Ugh. I was so steamed, and it wasn't even my real ring!

But in the end, they're just things, right? And now you have a bit of a tale to tell. And you still have something amazing that can't be lost so easily!

Anonymous on 6:40 PM

This just happened to me. I got engaged 3 weeks ago and we went to taste cakes and try on wedding dresses on Saturday. I was in the car with my mom and realized my ring was gone! After my stomach dropped, I realized it was in the jewelry cleaner. She scolded me for cleaning my ring too much and I said, "But, I just wanted it to sparkle!" To which she said, "Oh! Well, I think you are cleaning it too much...."

meridith on 10:10 PM

my heart hurts for you :(

K on 11:36 AM

Mackenzie,
I totally feel your pain because I too lost my engagement ring, but in a much more dramatic way. This was just a month after I got engaged. I went to the bathroom at work and while I was sitting, I was looking at my ring and since I was still newly engaged, I was in awe at how pretty it was. So I took it off my finger. Big mistake. Next thing I know, I am no longer holding my ring and it somehow fell into the toilet. I immediately get up and fish for it. However, since it was one of those automatic flush toilets, as soon as I felt the band, the powerful flush took my ring away from me, forever. Needless to say that I had a sleepless night, calling every plumber in the phonebook, hoping that I could somehow retrieve the ring, only for them to tell me that it was a lost cause. Not only was I sad about losing the ring, but I also feared telling my fiance, as I knew he spent his hard-earned money on it and he hadn't gotten it insured yet!! I did tell him and he took it very well, and months later he got me a new ring.

Anonymous on 10:06 PM

Please do update us if you choose to look for it in the landfill (and PLEASE do! You never know!)

Anonymous on 3:44 PM

the ring is absolutely gorgeous... what was the stone?? i am so sorry to hear about your loss. i am not engaged, but know what it is like to lose something so dear to your heart.