My favorite ketubah expert, Tsilli of New Ketubah, has just released a free downloadable DIY Ketubah Kit. I think it's fabulous that she's willing to offer her insight and expertise for nothing in return, and I think lots of people might benefit from her informative offer and her amazing design sense. Visit Tsilli here for all the details.

I posted last year about New Ketubah's modern take on the marriage contract, and lots of you responded how happy you were to see a different take on this ancient tradition. Tsilli has just released several gorgeous new designs, and you're the first to know! I really love the sunburst one. I couldn't think of a better image for the beginning of a new life together. Thanks for the heads up Tsilli!

So I guess this week is unofficially Etsy week! I keep finding all these amazing handmade things that I'm powerless to resist. For example; adorable button bouquets. How perfect would these be for your flower girl? Also available are these matching button hair clips that would be tres chic on a 5 year old. All from Kreated by Kelly, all so cute it hurts.

I had no idea when I posted about vintage lockets as "bouquet charms" a few weeks ago that it was actually a THING. As it turns out, there's a wonderful artisan out there in Etsy-land who specializes in the production of this adorable little tradition-in-the-making. Lost and Fawned makes customizable lockets for your bouquet, and then they'll turn your bouquet locket into a necklace locket, complete with a customizable chain. It's a complete locket experience!

I'm not sure when lockets went out of style... I know I used to be fascinated with them when I was little. I always thought they had a really mysterious, romantic quality that was very appealing to me. When I stumbled across the vintage locket collection over at vintage rehab, I couldn't help but try and resurrect this old tradition. I thought they could be wonderfully re-purposed wrapped around your bridal bouquet with pictures of you and your fiance, or an image of someone special who you'd like close to your heart on your wedding day.

These beautiful little blooms are the product of an ancient Japanese tradition known as Tsumami Kanzashi (the art of pinching luxurious silks into flower-shaped hair ornaments). Atelier Kanawa makes both traditional & modern Tsumami Kanzashi and was professionally trained by one of the only 15 acknowledged Tsumami Kanzashi artisans in Japan. Not only are these flowers the continuation of a beautiful and ancient tradition, but the folded version will not wilt like the real ones, and will be just as beautiful in 20 years as they are today. Wearing one of these in your 'do would be a wonderful way to acknowledge Japanese heritage in your family if you happen to have it.

Tsilli from New Ketubah emailed me today about the launch of her amazing new line of limited edition ketubah prints. She uses modern graphics in a variety of shades, prints them on archival, acid free, fine arts paper and then adds handcrafted touches in silk or cotton thread. The result is unlike any ketubah I've ever seen. Her website is also really elegant. Check her out!

Periodically Xochitl (pronounced so-cheel), our resident wediquette expert and owner of Always a Bridesmaid Wedding Consulting, answers an etiquette question submitted* by one of our readers. So, (without further ado):

Q: How can I appropriately address envelopes without addressing women by their husband's first name? Call me a feminist, but even if I were adopting my partner's last name (which I'm not), the idea of ever being called Mrs. HIM just gives me shudders. Is it appropriate to address a married couple as (for example): Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe? Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe? The Doe Family?
--LBG

A: The most correct is "The Doe Family", though I'm also fond of "Mr. John & Mrs. Jane Doe", it's not Peggy Post approved but it sounds fluid. "Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe" is a little too tricky.
How do you feel about simply "Mr. & Mrs. Doe" and then writing "John and Jane" on the inner envelope? For couples who have kept their maiden names I suggest "The Smith-Doe Family".
For women with professional titles, I personally refuse to remove their title simply because they are married. In that instance I usually suggest people write
"Mr. John and Dr. Jane Doe". I hope that was helpful!--Xochitl of Always a Bridesmaid

*If you've got a question for our expert, submit it by clicking "submit your question" in the right hand column, under "wediquette".

Periodically Xochitl (pronounced so-cheel), our resident wediquette expert and owner of Always a Bridesmaid Wedding Consulting, answers an etiquette question submitted* by one of our readers. So, (without further ado):

Q: I know that this is pre-mature, since I won't be getting married for another 2 years, but my wedding has to be Kosher, and I cannot find any sites about who to go to and what needs to be done for a Kosher wedding. My mother and I are both clueless since she is Christian and I am reform (Jewish), and had never planned on having a Kosher wedding, but because of my groom, it has to be done.
I know that the meal will be Kosher, but what about the cake? So, do you have any advice?
--Kathryn

A: The Kosher issue is tricky, but it's not as hard as you would imagine. Depending on where you are located and if you have a venue selected already or not, your process will differ slightly. This also assumes you are having a Saturday evening wedding.
Generally here is how it works: Either you are working with a space that is open to outside caterers or a venue with on-site catering. If you know in advance that you are going to need Kosher, you should start looking for venues that allow off-site caterers in. I think it works out more economically and often affords you more choice in WHO your Kosher caterer is.
If you have your reception facility booked already, you should start by asking your location for their recommendation/required kosher vendor. You should ask for the menu offered at your particular venue and move from there. Typically venues will have a preferred or required Kosher caterer and often they have a set menu that mirrors the menu offered at your venue.
If you are booking a space and then looking for an outside Kosher Caterer, then the world is your oyster, because you can design a menu around the season and your tastes, just as you would with any other kind of catering (with Kosher Provisions in mind).
Kosher food has a reputation for being bad, but it simply depends on HOW the caterer works and what you serve. Certain cuts of beef just simply aren't as good, because they are imitations of the "real" cut, and a good caterer will steer you clear of those and make recommendations that are really quite delicious. Additionally, nothing on the wedding can START until after sundown, so keep that in mind as you are planning. So often BAD kosher catering is prepared on a Friday afternoon and re-heated after sundown on Saturday. Thus the reputation for overcooked items. One of the things you should ask is WHEN they cook most of their food. Prep is fine the day prior, but cooking should happen that evening.
If you are in the New York area, I strongly suggest Foremost Caterers. Not only do they provide a Kosher meal, it is absolutely some of the BEST off premise food that I've ever tasted. It is imaginative, hip, pretty and the service is wonderful.
In terms of the cake, anything that you ask your caterer to serve (including wines and champagnes) must be Kosher. This means that the cake must be Pareve. A lot of people don't like Pareve baked goods, (I personally LOVE them). Discuss the option of serving another tasty dessert (a fruit tart, etc) as an alternative for those guests who aren't such big fans of Pareve.--Xochitl of Always a Bridesmaid

*If you've got a question for our expert, submit it by clicking "submit your question" in the right hand column, under "wediquette".

Periodically Xochitl (pronounced so-cheel), our resident wediquette expert and owner of Always a Bridesmaid Wedding Consulting, answers an etiquette question submitted* by one of our readers. So, (without further ado):

Q: What is the color rule for mothers and mother-in-laws? My future daughter-in-law is having red dresses and I would like to know what color to go with. Do both mothers have to wear the same (long or short) or can one go long and one go short?--Karen

A: There is no rule about length concerning mothers and mother-in-laws, however, the color is the important thing. The MOB should select her dress first, with consideration to the color of the bridesmaid's dresses. Maybe a nice chocolate brown for fall, or a champagne for spring and summer. In winter; black, a deep plum or a navy will look sophisticated and the MOG should follow suit. Should you do browns, then she should shy away from black. She shouldn't necessarily go for the same color, but something that will photograph nicely alongside the other tones. She could go navy or a plum for instance. I think that what should dictate the length is really the formality of the party, and what you feel lovely in!--Xochitl of Always a Bridesmaid

*If you've got a question for our expert, submit it by clicking "submit your question" in the right hand column, under "wediquette".

I caught the tail end of this tv show last night where they were showing all these different YouTube videos of hilarious first wedding dances. I thought this one was the best! I think it was my favorite because the couple looked like they were having an absolutely fantastic time. This one was pretty awesome too. Again, I liked it because the groom was just loving it, having a great time. I'd love to know what you all are planning for your first dance... funny, sweet, over-the-top?

Patch NYC is one of my all time favorites for cake toppers. My friend Lena of ~>0<~ actually had her cake topper made by Patch, and was featured in Martha Stewart Weddings (that's her cake there, on the left). In my opinion, if you're going to go the traditional bride-and-groom cake topper route, this is the way to do it. It's indie, it's unique, it's handmade, yet it still gives a nod to the old school. Traditions are your friends, just don't forget to put them in a fresh change of clothes before you send them down the aisle.

Lizabeth emailed me this afternoon to tell me about these from TJ & Co. I think the cuff links would be a perfect gift from a bride to a groom on their wedding day. The images can be whatever you want, but I was thinking that pictures of grandparents or loved ones who can't be present would be really meaningful. My mister and I hung pictures of couples in our lives that inspired us at our wedding, we covered a whole wall! We each have a set of grandparents who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversaries, and they were (and still are) a tremendous inspiration to us. The cuff links are the same idea, but might be a more subtle, more personal way to keep your inspirations close at hand on your wedding day. Pun totally intended.

Greetings from Montreal. Welcome back from Thanksgiving!
The death of a loved one is always a surprise, no matter how prepared you are. Unfortunately, we have been surprised by a death in the family. We celebrated Thanksgiving in Connecticut, but were called away for a funeral mid-vacation, and are now in Montreal until Tuesday. As always, I'm grateful to have friends in this case who can fill my shoes and post something relevant. Having said that, I'm going to pass you all over to Samantha for her regular Monday morning post:


This wedding is such a dichotomy for me. Dave is my perfect match in so many ways including our cultural upbringing and current views on religion. We are both agnostic yet were raised in the Jewish culture. His grandparents had a great role in raising him and were Holocaust survivors. Mine were both raised in Jewish communities and in families that celebrated their culture by observing with friends and family (in a reform and festive way). I was raised within a relaxed cultural context. Dave’s upbringing was a little more stringent, but not much. We chose to favor the cultural components of faith instead of the religious, for us it’s primarily about family not personal faith.
We can’t imagine eloping like my folks did because we want to share our experience and set our cornerstone with the friends and family. Nor do we want a stranger marrying us. A close family friend of my family (whose son I grew up with) is a rabbi. We would like to have him marry us but don’t particularly want a religious ceremony, yet we don’t want to deny the culture of our families or ancestors. It’s quite complex to explain that to us there’s a line between culture and religion without insulting family, but that we don’t feel that a marriage is necessarily a religious event.

While I was trolling ebay (for trolling ebay 8), I kept coming across these cups shaped like ladies holding buckets over their heads. I was intrigued. I did a little research and learned that they are part of an old German wedding custom. You all know how I love culture, so as much as you might protest, today we will learn something.
The story goes that a long time ago, a goldsmith in the city of Nuremberg wanted to marry a young noble woman. Her father, however, did not like the idea of his daughter marrying a poor artisan. Legend has it that the nobleman would only allow the wedding to take place if the goldsmith succeeded in making a vessel from which two people could drink at the same time, without spilling a drop. The goldsmith succeeded, and the news of the happy ending spread quickly all over Germany, where the Bridal Cup has been in use ever since.
To me it wasn't completely obvious how this worked at first. I was all "huh?" whilst turning my head to one side and squinting trying to figure out how two people could drink from that lady's bucket... (those are 'thinking really hard' ellipses).
I finally figured it out when I learned that the cup held by the woman is on a hinge, and can rotate around so that it looks as if the she's dumping the contents on her head. So then, if you turn the whole vessel upside down, the groom may drinketh from the maiden's skirt (yowsa!) and the bride can drink simultaneously from the maiden's bucket, which tilts so that she doesn't spill. I'll be damned! What fun.
If you'd like to get one of these pretty little ladies for your wedding just do a search for "german wedding cup" on ebay. You'll find several.
That's all for today, class.

I found these gorgeous wedding saris by Indian designer Ritu Beri while surfing yesterday. I love the idea that every culture comes up with its own ideal of beauty for the bride, and every culture comes up with something different! I think these are so sumptuous and rich looking, they make me wish I had an occassion were I could wear a sari...

When I was trying on wedding dresses, the number one thing I'd hear people say, about me or anyone else in a big white dress was: "You look like a princess!". So, I wondered, what does a princess look like these days anyway? I collected a bunch of images of princesses, duchesses, and the like just in case any of you are also curious. If you are a princess and you happen to be missing from this post but would like to be included, send me an email with some wedding photos, I'll make it happen.

*These images are from all over the place, and they don't belong to me.*
May I present, in order from left to right, top to bottom:

1) Archduchess Marie Astrid of Austria
2) Princess Laurentien of the Netherlands
3) Princess Sibilla of Luxembourg
4) Queen (then Princess) Sonja of Norway
5) Princess Mathilde of Belgium, Duchess of Brabant
6) Duchess Fleur of Wuerttemberg
7) Princess Alexia of Greece
8) Princess Marilene of Orange-Nassau
9) Mary, Crown Princess of Denmark
10) Clotilde, Princess of Venice and Piedmont
11) Princess Maxima of the Netherlands *Thanks Ida!*

No strapless ball gowns here. Princesses like long sleeves, yes they do.

I don't know if you've discovered This American Life, but it's a wonderfully funny, insightful, and sometimes very poignant radio program about pretty much anything. I love the host, Ira Glass, I think he's a hoot. You can usually find it broadcast on your local public radio station at some point during the weekend. You can also go to their website, and listen to any of the episodes for free via streaming audio.
My point here is that there is a wonderful episode called The Sanctity of Marriage that I heard a while back, and Act 1 really spoke to me. It's a real eye opener for those of you entering into marriage (or, heck, anyone who's in a relationship for that matter). You should check that out. Don't worry, it's not sad or depressing or anything, it's just really interesting.